What To Do While You Wait In The Drive-Thru

If you're 35 years of age or older, then you're among an emerging class of Westernized citizens who can lay claim to something that over half of those living in the United States will never be able to at anytime in the foreseeable future; you can remember a time in your adult life before the smartphone was a thing.

Today, 17 years after the smartphone's introduction in 2007, to say that most of us are "glued" to these palm-sized devices of seemingly-infinite connectivity is an understatement. We're not just superficially affixed to our phones - they've become an integrated appendage of both our bodies and brains. So experiencing a time when they were not perpetually at the ready for someone living today could easily be compared to those whose lives straddled the years in the middle ground between the advent of the wheel or the discovery of fire.

And for as much as these handheld supercomputers are capable of, one of their most-utilized functions isn't even among their greatest of features, and that's simply passing the time.

If you ever want to underscore just how true this statement is, just head to any place where people are forced to wait for something to happen and you'll glimpse it in full splendor. Look around a crowded airport, a bank lobby, or a long line at the grocery store and you'll undoubtedly see most of the lemmings-in-wait staring at this, that, or the other on their smartphone.

Which brings up another interesting place that people often have to wait in the modern world, that being in the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant. And that brings us to Canadian teenager, Mason Prima.

The 18-year-old from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan recently received a $580 citation from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) for using his cell phone while in his car.

The RCMP ensign (who was actually "mounted" on a motorcycle and not a horse) says he observed Prima engaging with his mobile device while driving in traffic, but Prima insists he was only using his smartphone while inching forward in the drive-thru of a McDonald's restaurant.

Regardless of who's right and who's wrong (or more accurately who's lying and who's not), Prima's claim brings up an interesting question of retrospective for those of us who can remember a day when smartphones were yet to be in ubiquitous use; What did we all do inside the car while waiting in the drive-thru lane before everyone had a cell phone?

After letting my own cranial wheels spin for a bit on this, I've compiled a Family Feud-style list of eight answers to that very question for your consideration.

READ
Be it a book, a magazine, a newspaper or something else featuring the printed word - reading is something we all used to do a lot more of while waiting in line at the drive-thru, or any other place for that matter. And when those articles weren't available, even things like your car's owner's manual or the Surgeon General's warning on that pack of smokes in your jockey box would suffice.

LISTEN TO THE RADIO
I'm sure a lot of people still listen to music in their vehicles while waiting in the drive-thru, but in this day and age it's more than likely being sourced from an app connected to their smartphone. But back in the day, the local disc jockey in anyone's hometown was good for a lot more than just razzing for having an antiquated job title.

SING
Again, this is something that some folks might still do, but most likely with the added influence of a smartphone by modern standards. I'm sure at least a few famous crooners must have been discovered belting out their favorite tunes acapella style in the drive-thru of a Burger King, right?

GROOM
Some people believe we're all the product of ancestors who are monkeys and gorillas, and observing someone with a fair wait time in their car in a drive-thru might serve in furthering this theory scientifically. From hair fixing and cootie eating to eyebrow plucking and nostril picking, people can get downright gross in the car when their hands are free.

APPLY MAKEUP
For 'Maybe it's Maybelline' women and goth vampire guys everywhere, putting on makeup is an exercise that far transcends just once in the morning, and the drive-thru lane makes for a perfect spot to redo one's lip gloss or cake up a fresh layer of Kabuki foundation.

FLIRT
Yeah, it might seem ridiculous to many of us, but we all know those overly-libidinous types who just can't stop thinking about cute boys and/or girls, and they'll take advantage of just about any situation to make themselves available - even in the car that's immediately ahead or behind them in the drive-thru lane.

EAT
Counterintuitive, perhaps. Gluttonous, to be certain. But eating in the drive thru lane, even before obtaining whatever you ordered, is probably a lot more common than you might think. Besides, who doesn't want an aperitif/appetizer course of warm root beer and fallen Junior Mints retrieved from between the cushion of the front seat to get their palate ready for a couple of bacon double cheeseburgers, an order of onion rings, and a Sour Patch Oreo Blizzard?

THINK
Alright, as a self-professed mentalist and a lover of all things deep thought, I must say that this is the one thing I enjoy doing the most when I wait in any line, and the number one thing our obsession with the smartphone has all but despoiled from our daily routine which truly does us the most good. Thinking in any context appears to be a fading pastime but it's an essential component for the contemplation of everything from "what in the hell did I just order?" to "why am I here and what's my purpose in Life". I personally suggest utilizing this miraculous gift during all drive-thru waits and throughout the course of every day you are here on Earth.