Drivers Nationwide Bravely Prepare to Ignore Car Clock for Five Months

With the clocks going back this weekend, drivers everywhere are mentally preparing to… do absolutely nothing about it. 

Across the country, motorists are resigned to enduring dashboard clocks that are an hour off, reasoning that subtracting 60 minutes in their head is far less painful than wrestling with a car’s settings menu—or, heaven forbid, pushing a button. Sure, you can text, stream, and navigate across three states, but changing the clock? Might as well require a degree in quantum mechanics. 

Experts say the cause is simple: no one cares. This lazy little tradition predates infotainment screens, with generations of drivers wearing their wrong-time displays like a seasonal badge of honor. In winter, you scrape the windshield, drive in the dark, and subtract an hour. That’s just how it is. 

Ironically, more people than ever are afflicted now that car dashboards look like a knockoff Times Square. 

When asked if this behavior reflects a deep emotional bond with Daylight Saving Time, one driver shrugged: “Nah… I just can’t be bothered. Getting my radio presets right and my Spotify playlists sorted took most of my thirties. But changing the clock? Forget it. By March, it’d be wrong again.” 

And as for those self-updating car clocks? “Ooh, look at me, my car’s special. I’m so futuristic. Lah-di-dah,” scoffed one driver, smugly assured their clock was correct—assuming, of course, they haven’t annoyed their car’s AI into passive-aggressively shifting it at random. Now that’s my kind of artificial intelligence. 

At least the VCR that flashed 12:00 its entire life was right twice a day. And no one cared then, either.