Nightmare Worms, Flying Pizza, Spilled Candy and Stolen Toilets… Wild Stories of the Week

1. Demonic Worms Are Here

Story:
(Keller, TX) – North Texas has officially been invaded… by worms. Not cute earthworms, but 12-to-15 inch “hammerhead” worms that are basically nature’s version of a horror movie villain. They eat the good worms that keep soil healthy, are toxic to humans (hello, hives!), and—here’s the kicker—cut one up and each piece grows into a new worm. Killing them requires bagging and freezing for two days. Yes, this is your nightmare’s worm edition.

2. Pizza Made Her Fly  

Story:
(Palm Harbor, FL) – Florida woman Yazmin Erazo may have taken “fast food” a little too literally. Deputies say she was speeding at 107 mph in a 55 zone on a quest for Little Caesars before it closed. She now faces charges for dangerous speeding. Lesson: some things are worth dying for, apparently, but your bond will still cost cash.

3. NYC Buses Take the Cake 

Story:
(New York, NY) – Transit Matters, a nonprofit for people who suffer on public transport, has handed out its “Pokey Award” to Manhattan’s M42 bus—averaging a mind-blowing five mph. The Q8 in Queens won “The Schleppie” for being reliably late—over three minutes at every stop. Basically, if you value your life or punctuality, just walk.

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4. Sweet Mess Alert

Story:
(Lowell, MA) – A candy truck flipped on a Lowell residential street, spilling thousands of pounds of sugar everywhere. No injuries reported, but locals may have gotten a sugar rush just by walking past. Authorities are investigating, but we already know the real winner: whoever gets the first handful.

5. Prison Has Wi-Fi, Apparently

Story:
(Atlanta, GA) – Jarvis Matthews, serving a life sentence for murder, apparently thought prison was just another office. Using cellphones from his Calhoun State Prison cell, he ran a multi-million-dollar drug and money laundering operation. Now convicted, he faces an extra 25 years. Note to self: cellphones in jail are apparently an effective business tool… until they’re not.

6. Cockroach Conspiracies

Story:
(Albuquerque, NM) – Alexis Hernandez, 25, allegedly committed a double homicide after claiming a cockroach gave him an “encrypted message” to kill. He told deputies, “I had to do what I had to do.” Moral of the story: if a bug starts whispering life advice, maybe check yourself into therapy, not prison.

7. Toilet Heist Gone Wrong

Story:
(Malibu, CA) – A carjacking suspect stole a truck loaded with portable toilets, pretending to have a gun. Later, he crashed on Pacific Coast Highway and was found naked on a rock offshore. Police gave him a towel and handcuffs. No injuries, no gun, but a spectacularly messy story that proves crime does not pay… especially when port-a-potties are involved.